Fear

I fell to my knees last night in fear, feeling like a little child, trying to run and hide under their covers or under their bed...Rushing turning every light on...hurry. Grab my music, come on, the voice is talking to me again, I want it to leave me alone...I am trying to move on, don't touch me, just let me go. I know I am not imagining what I am seeing. I am tired of fighting this battle. He knows the night is toughest for me. Oh how I wish some one were here to pick me up and just hold me, never let me go.
You never know fear, true fear until you see into the eyes of the coldest and emptiest of souls. Shaking and trembling, I am frozen. God is the only one who can protect me now, and my Savior is the only one who can protect and save me from the haunting of my flaws...Come quickly, and abide with me. Shed your light, your grace, your mercy, Majesty, power, peace, love joy on me. Feed my malnurtured soul. Come save me!
Crying, trying to be brave, trying to be in control. This great power seemed to seize upon me, upon my soul. Why is it that it gets harder as I try? It should be easier, I am sure there are other people...why can he never cease to tire, why can he not leave me be...
The sound of a message from a friend makes my heart jump, mostly out of fear, my heart is beating so hard, it is echoing through my clothes, as I read it bring my mind into another world, saving me from the terror of loneliness.
I can do without him. I want him gone. He has been constant to never leave, and he cannot take the point.
Everyone else just stay here, hold me, shelter me, help me get over this mountain, it is above my head, but under my feet when I am with you.
Never leave me.
I fear being alone.
I fear losing the people I love most.
Don't go away.
Don't replace me.
Come, I need your presence in my life.
I need you.
Don't leave.
For if you do, I would rather die, than live this life alone... I cannot get through this, nor life alone. Take my heart, hold it in your hands, warm it with your touch. Don't break it, don't lose it, don't let it go, don't put it down, put it next to yours.
Hear my heart crying, it is playing your song...