I took a very much needed walk tonight. I got to hear think myself for once, the clarity was a needed remedy to my crazy life. You know life is much like a walk in the dark, you just walking along, things trip you, and you fall in holes. What is important is getting back up so eventually you can get home. Occasionally a pair of head lights will stare you head on, which can be somewhat intimidating, but the light is something nice to feel on your cold face, especially when the occasion is rare. Many times I fall and stumble. Every time in my life, the light lasts enough to get my hope and faith up far enough to get me through the next mile or so I have to tread.
Someone told me they know exactly what I am going through. I know it was in their best intentions, but I just wanted to say "NO; no you don't know. You cant know. What I am feeling was tailor made for my heart and soul. You don't wear my chains."
Essential yet appealed. I feel so many things. God has taken all emotions in the universe, mixed them together, and put them inside my heart. Its like having two people inside of me, two people talking to me, thinking contradictions to me. I am fighting the most holiest and greatest battles ever fought, within the silent chamber It like your leech sucking the life from me; its taking all my energy. Its like a demon I cant face down. I know I let you have all the power. Its like I'm not me. I'm giving up slowly. Its like your a that's ghost haunting me, leave me alone. I know these voices in my head are mine and mine alone. I wish I could rip a page of my memory. Its a hard habit to break, if I don't, I see my chances chances fading now.
I lost my way. Eyes are red and tears filled with mascara are shed, leaving their stains. I think I am just tired, I need a sunrise to leave this all behind me, that would be nice. Its like whatever I do, what I search for cannot be found. I used to be worth my weight in gold-that was before the great depression came in and rocked me; and that was before the hurricane came in and stopped me. My heart is obliterated. This is like moving mountains, but I keep climbing, hoping things will change, then the sky turns grey, and the water from the rain washes this progress away. I've been standing in gas and I have been the flames. Its like I am not me, I've been giving up slowly. Its so hard. I don't wanna hold back no more.
Now I feel a change in me, I cant afford to slip much farther from the person who I was meant to be. I gotta long way to go, its been awhile. My big brother almighty, got a few more feet, but its still the longest yard. Cant wait till I get outta this phase because i cant rewrite history. Didn't think I would get this far, man I really believe I can turn it around. See all I need is that second chance to show it. Punch me high and kick me low.Its gonna take more than that for em to break my soul. Just one more hit, I promise I can take it, I can deal with it. I have handled it. I will make a new life for me. I will change my ways, I am taking me, my thoughts, my life back now.
All these thoughts swirled in my head, now I have unflooded my brain, letting the words flow through to me fingers. I am changing, letting the things and disappointments, mistakes, baggage, be a part of my past like they are supposed to be. My chapter is closing, i am closing my book, and putting it where it belongs. I am never giving up or giving in. It is easy to fall down its getting up that becomes the problem. No matter what my past flaws and all, I decided my future is remains spotless.
Someone told me they know exactly what I am going through. I know it was in their best intentions, but I just wanted to say "NO; no you don't know. You cant know. What I am feeling was tailor made for my heart and soul. You don't wear my chains."
Essential yet appealed. I feel so many things. God has taken all emotions in the universe, mixed them together, and put them inside my heart. Its like having two people inside of me, two people talking to me, thinking contradictions to me. I am fighting the most holiest and greatest battles ever fought, within the silent chamber It like your leech sucking the life from me; its taking all my energy. Its like a demon I cant face down. I know I let you have all the power. Its like I'm not me. I'm giving up slowly. Its like your a that's ghost haunting me, leave me alone. I know these voices in my head are mine and mine alone. I wish I could rip a page of my memory. Its a hard habit to break, if I don't, I see my chances chances fading now.
I lost my way. Eyes are red and tears filled with mascara are shed, leaving their stains. I think I am just tired, I need a sunrise to leave this all behind me, that would be nice. Its like whatever I do, what I search for cannot be found. I used to be worth my weight in gold-that was before the great depression came in and rocked me; and that was before the hurricane came in and stopped me. My heart is obliterated. This is like moving mountains, but I keep climbing, hoping things will change, then the sky turns grey, and the water from the rain washes this progress away. I've been standing in gas and I have been the flames. Its like I am not me, I've been giving up slowly. Its so hard. I don't wanna hold back no more.
Now I feel a change in me, I cant afford to slip much farther from the person who I was meant to be. I gotta long way to go, its been awhile. My big brother almighty, got a few more feet, but its still the longest yard. Cant wait till I get outta this phase because i cant rewrite history. Didn't think I would get this far, man I really believe I can turn it around. See all I need is that second chance to show it. Punch me high and kick me low.Its gonna take more than that for em to break my soul. Just one more hit, I promise I can take it, I can deal with it. I have handled it. I will make a new life for me. I will change my ways, I am taking me, my thoughts, my life back now.
All these thoughts swirled in my head, now I have unflooded my brain, letting the words flow through to me fingers. I am changing, letting the things and disappointments, mistakes, baggage, be a part of my past like they are supposed to be. My chapter is closing, i am closing my book, and putting it where it belongs. I am never giving up or giving in. It is easy to fall down its getting up that becomes the problem. No matter what my past flaws and all, I decided my future is remains spotless.
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